Baby Fever

Well, there are only 25 more days to go and I am finally getting baby fever. Don't get me wrong, I have been excited to have another little one but I haven't had that anticipation yet until now. Just the other day I pulled out all of the baby cloths and put them in Lilah's closet! Yet again, just as I was when Kayla was born, it amazes me how tiny those little outfits are and I just know they will drown Lilah at first. It was like a flood of memories came back to me as I sorted through all of the precious little things that have been worn by her two sisters before. Each one comes with it's own memory of a certain time or place when I can remember them being worn. It is such a nostalgic feeling. I can't help but think about what it will be like to pack up those cloths for the last time. I know we must have another little soul up there because I am definately not ready for that yet.

The reality of having another little soul is finally settling in. I find myself wondering what she will be like. Will she be exact and calculating like Neeley or will she be foot loose and fancy free like Kayla. I am sure she will have her own little personality! The responsibility of being a parent can be daunting at times. There are so many little ticking parts to take care of and so many things that can go wrong. I guess you just have to put your faith in the Lord, pray alot and do your best. What more could be done? There are times when I look at my girls and see something of them that comes from me. Many good and many bad. When I see the bad it's like you just want to kick yourself for passing that trait on. It is as if you are looking into a mirror of truth when you see this in them.

Anyway, we know she has hair. I am hoping it will come out jet black like Kayla and Neeley and maybe even with curls like Kayla. We can already see that she has her daddy's trademark forehead! I lie awake at night sometimes and just wait to feel her little movements. It is such a magical experience. What a blessing it is to carry a child. As my 9 months are coming to a close, I find myself wishing away the days just so I can have my comfort back (as if getting up all night is comfort???) but then I have to remind myself of this special time we have together. I remember feeling almost empty and lost when Neeley was gone from my body. They become such a part of you!

Oh the magic!